Dissecting the Ten Commandments from a Non-Christian Standpoint

As archaeologists are proving Moses did not write the parts of the Bible that are attributed to him (early papers with the text were not written in his era due to time dating on the paper). This includes the part of the Bible concerning the Ten Commandments. More evidence comes out every day to suggest that the Christian Bible is nothing more than a large fictitious book filled with hate propaganda and other fallacies, I feel that we need to consider the source of the “manual of God”.

I know and am friends with many Christian people. However, that being said, I do not believe in the Christian God. I am a reasonable person though and tend to believe that all religions offer some important life lessons. As I am not Christian, I am going to assume some of the most important life lessons (or rules, in this case) to a Christian would exist in the Ten Commandments. The following article looks at the Ten Commandments, what they mean, and if they are even necessary at all.

First we need to consider the fact that there were two original sets of these commandments. One set was smashed and one was kept whole. Further, there are at least three versions that range in rules and wording. The Protestant, Catholic, and Hebrew versions are all different. However, in the effort of time saving and relative ease we will use the Protestant (King James) version of the Commandments. In all cases, the punishment of breaking a commandment is either death or damnation, so keep in mind that according to the Bible these are some pretty strict rules.

Commandment 1: Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

As I am not a Christian and instead am a polytheist this one confuses me somewhat. Having not read the Bible may be impeding my understanding of God and the works, but I was to understand that God was it. If he was fully aware of this (as he should be, since he is God) then why is this rule necessary at all?

Was it just that the writer of the Commandments was insecure and wanted to emphasize the importance of God or was it something else? Naturally, if you believe in History you know that other people did believe in other Gods before the Christian one, so is this the reason for the hatred against other possible Gods?

Furthermore, if God forgives you and allows you into heaven if you repent couldn’t you just worship who you want, find out your wrong, and repent to get into heaven when the time came? This commandment just seems like God was an attention slut. The first rule has to be about him being the most important and only valid God…or else. Really, I thought he would be more mature than that.

Commandment 2: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

You’re seriously kidding me with this right? God sure was a baby! So if I don’t like him, and right now, I am not about to join the fan club, he’s going to punish my children’s children’s children because of me? I think God needs anger management personally. What happened to all that crap about him being a forgiving and loving God? No one told me that you had to like him for him to be cool. What if I don’t like him now, but change my mind on my death bed? Does this mean he only messes with my great-grandkids for part of their lives? Inquiring minds want to know, Oh Holy One. If you could give me a sign I would appreciate it.

Commandment 3: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain: for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Simple definition for those who don’t get this one is that you are not allowed to use God’s name falsely stating that he endorses something that he doesn’t, thus defiling his name. It also means that God will punish you for it, as you will not be cleansed. Fine, I can see where this is the case. I don’t want people taking my name in vain either. However, I have questions.

Say God doesn’t believe in premarital sex and I am not married and am…you know…doing it. So, in a heat of passion I scream out the name God or Jesus Christ (I am only human…it happens). Does this mean I am in deep shit because I am advocating something that he doesn’t like?

What about Fundamentalist Christians that blow up Gay people and Abortion Clinics? They often cite God for their reasons. You know, this and that was in the Bible and this led me to Google to learn how to make a bomb. Why doesn’t God make the bomb blow up in their face or something? Is it necessary to allow them to live long lives and torture us when we only talk about God when we are….ya know? I get that he has other things to do, but he’s whipped up plagues in the past. If he is going to create a rule he should enforce it. Otherwise, no one will take him seriously. That’s all I’m saying.

Commandment 4: Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor they stranger that is within thy gates: for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested on the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day, and hallowed it.

I will lay this one out simply even though I will be scratching my head on the inside. The week starts on Sunday. Six days later it is Friday. Saturday is the seventh day. The seventh day is the Sabbath. However, Sunday is the day of celebration and Saturday is often a day of work. Considering God did the work, don’t you think he will know which day the Sabbath really is and will wonder why people don’t take it off? I am normally pretty lazy on Saturdays, so I feel I will be safe here, but it has nothing to do with God so he might still get me on his other commandments listed above.

Commandment 5: Honor they father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord giveth thee.

So, in simple terms I need to listen to my mother and father. I see the basic importance to this rule, but shouldn’t there be some amendments or something. For instance, it’s okay to say no if your mother wants to pimp you out (no commandment against that from what I have seen…) or if you’re dad’s an alcoholic and puts Budweiser in your bottle thinking it’s his, is it okay to refuse it? What if your mom’s a feeder and you can’t get through a meal without looking like a stuffed turkey? Can you refuse the extra biscuits or do you need to eat those, too?

I also wonder about how long we need to listen to them? Is this a lifelong commitment? I like my mom, but I didn’t ask to be born to her specifically. I think it’s pretty cruel of God to pick your parents AND make you listen to them for life. Can you imagine if Norman Bates were real? He listened to his mother and it just made him a single, weird guy who owned a deadly motel when he wasn’t in prison for killing anything in a skirt that shared a bologna sandwich with him. That’s just no way to live. No way at all.

Commandment 6: Thou shalt not kill.

What if our mother’s tell us to? I sense a catch-22 in here. Damned if I do kill and damned if I don’t. Whoever wrote these for God should have been clearer about what they meant. Maybe it should say something like, “Thou shalt not kill even if your mother tells you to do so“. This would let us know if our mother’s put the knife in our hand that it was okay to say no. What if someone takes God’s name in vain in a really bad way. Can we stab them as a messenger of God or is that not allowed either?

Commandment 7: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

I could go into this big elaborate comment here, but with a divorce rate of over 90% and one of the most common causes for it being adultery, let me just say, I think a lot of you will be screwed on this one, in a literal sense, of course.

Commandment 8: Thou shalt not steal.

So, my best friend from high school is a Christian. She’s basically a good person. She has nice kids and a good life. However, when we were in middle school she used to steal things from Claire’s Boutique in the mall. They weren’t big things. They were like key chains and hair ties and stuff. Now according to this, she is automatically damned for stealing. Is there a way to get her out of this? Can I send a check for the $17.98 she stole to a Christian foundation to save her soul or is there no way out of this?

Commandment 9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

So, in simple terms, you cannot lie about your neighbor. This unfortunately is phrased weakly, as well. Can I lie to him directly, but not about him? I mean can I tell him I like him if I don’t or do I have to be honest to and about him? Also, what if I think something is true, like I’m almost positive that he’s a mass murderer and that his wife is in the garden (buried in the garden) and he’s living out his life with his true love, his lawn mower, but it’s not true? Is it okay to tell people this without digging through his bushes for his wife’s bones?

Commandment 10: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.

First let us look to the definition of covet. In Webster’s dictionary the main definition of covet is to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others: to covet another’s property. Now we have to ask ourselves why was the writer of the Ten Commandments so thorough for this particular commandment? Do I really need to be told not to wrongfully desire someone’s ox or donkey? First off, I don’t even know anyone with these animals.

Next, if the gay thing isn’t allowed why do we need to mention the manservant thing? Isn’t just mentioning this torture for the guy who is trying to ignore certain tendencies in the name of the Commandments? Give that guy a break. Just be like you shouldn’t want anything that isn’t yours. That would be easy enough.

In short, most of these are common sense. Don’t kill, don’t steal, and don’t sleep with someone if your wife will find out. All of the others are just plain unnecessary or so basic that they shouldn’t be required in the first place.

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